In the Christian journey, we often hear that the path is always one of unwavering faith. Yet, there are moments of profound doubt, spiritual “wobbles” that shake the very foundation.
Recently, as my discernment towards ordination and the growth of our Titus 1:9 ministry draw closer, I’ve experienced the most significant “wobble” yet. It’s brought numbness and a feeling of being completely spiritually disarmed – my spiritual armour worn and rusty per se, a tension between my perceived lack of willpower and discipline with numerous distractions both spiritually and worldly and my sincere desire to be in ministry, creating a sense of hypocrisy.
This “wobble” is, I believe, a spiritual attack, a predictable consequence of raising my head above the parapet for the Gospel, and it can be quite scary. But I’m doing it anyway. This is the ministry. This is what God wants, fulfilling the Great Commission of Jesus. As we’re based in Yorkshire, we talk sense, and this is the raw truth of Christian ministry.
So, why be so honest? Does doubt disqualify? Maybe. But this is Titus 1:9 in action: honesty, openness, and human conversation. God uses all things for good, and even these “wobbles” and momentary temptations can equip us to understand those who are less mature in faith and going through the same or similar things along with “learning” from other views when one meanders off ones own route (remember, Jesus walks with us at all times).
I’ve been that fighter in the ring, in the corner, taking the blows. Now I’m pushing forwards, looking the enemy in the eye.
Time for round two, but it can only be a successful round with Christ’s help, Christ’s support, and the prayers of all the Titus 1:9 community. Roll on 2026…!
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